May 06, 2011


what is more depressing than shopping for a swimsuit?
shopping for a bra. that is what. went to gap today to try on this:

why was i trying this on?
because i need one for a wedding in florida which is being held outside on the beach and i thought a strapless dress with a little cardie would be kinda' cute.

i didn't buy one, however, because trying to put this beautiful strapless bra on a body that looks like the venus of willendorf just doesn't work. who may you ask is she?

well she is this stunning creature on the right and she is a great discovery that had archeologists swooning, but no one in their right mind really wants to look like that.

i don't.

now i may be exaggerating just slightly about what i look like without foundation garments. i must admit she probably would wear a much bigger cup size than me. my problem is that i wear a big size bra but not a corresponding cup size. i went to dillards after going to gap and where their lingerie department is overwhelming and their selection appears to be vast, until i went through each rack for my size and it just wasn't there. i overheard a customer asking for a 40 triple d and i am thinking, "good luck with that." and the saleswoman found several (!) in her size. 40 triple d!!! when i asked the same saleswoman for the size i needed she, like, "oooooooo, i don't think we carry that size. can you wear a bigger cup size?" (uhhh, no, if i could wear a bigger cup size i would have asked for a bigger cup size.)

this reminds me of shopping for my first bra with mom, back when there was no such thing as a training bra. mom tried to get me to try on a large cup size back then and then add to what wasn't there. i mean that's what they did back then. lots of socks were not being used on feet back then.

seriously, why at almost 54 am i contemplating using socks to fill out a bra (sigh).

oh and to gap body...please please use more flattering light and a better mirror in your dressing room. the last thing i want to see is all the veins in my chest and very short stumpy legs...i mean...come on, i'm 5'8", my legs should not look stumpy in a mirror.


  1. You DO know the Venus of Willendorf was a sign of fertility and probably what women strived to look like back in the day. Or at least that's what I remember from my art history class...

  2. yes, i understand that, but if i were to pick a time period...i would pick ruben's time...cuz i am shaped more like that and i would be worshipped!